


Just Enough

by dafnesway



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dafnesway/pseuds/dafnesway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Makoto” Haru says. He isn't sure how he's going to say it, but he knows he has to, so when Makoto hums to indicate he's listening, Haru just blurts out the first thing he can think of. “Can I kiss you?”<br/>--or the one where Rin tells Haru to tell Makoto how he feels and Haru isn't good with words--</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my first fic, but it is the first fic in a while that I thought was worth posting so... I hope you guys like it

Haru isn't good with feelings.

He's never been. He has no problem voicing his thoughts, but feelings, he can never find the right words.

Rin had been stubborn. Repeating over and over that he should just tell Makoto what he feels, and Haru usually trusts Rin; because Rin is kind of his compass and always sets him on the right path, but this time it's different; this time Rin is asking him something he simply can't do.

“If Makoto feels the way I do, he'd already said something” Haru said at that time, crossing his arms and turning his back to Rin, staring at the building's lights illuminating the night sky.

“Makoto is too much of a selfless brat to say anything” Rin insisted, grabbing Haru's shoulder and yanking him to look at his face. Haru avoided his eyes. “You're the direct and honest one, and Makoto won't say anything because he doesn't want to ruin things if you don't feel the same”

“Makoto knows how I feel” Haru mumbled under his breath. How dare Rin question Makoto's ability to read him? He's pretty damn sure Makoto knows, and the reason neither talk about it it's because Makoto wants to remain as friends. “He's always known. He _always_ knows”

“This is different” Rin sighed, “even for Makoto, you're unreadable sometimes, Haru. You have to tell him. Besides, if he does know, then it won't be a surprise and everything will continue as always won't it?”

Rin had a point. Haru can't believe he's actually considering it now, furiously shoving his books and school things at his backpack. 

“Haru?” Makoto says softly. “What's wrong?”

Honestly, how could Makoto not know? He always notices everything about Haru, even if he doesn't want him to. “Nothing” he spats, “let's go study at your place, I'm tired”

Makoto frowns at that. “But you have practice today”

Haru huffs. “I don't feel like it”

Makoto stops putting his own things at his backpack at that, staring right at Haru. “ _You_ don't feel like swimming?”

It isn't really the swimming, of course he wants to swim, it's the seeing Rin part he's reluctant about. And Rin usually doesn't stop him, but right now he wants Makoto to take his problems away, even if he's kind of involved in the whole thing.

So he shrugs, hopes Makoto understands. Maybe this is what Rin means by saying he's unreadable; Makoto can pick up his feelings, but he can't know why they're there.

Makoto doesn't stop the worried looks the whole walk from the coffee shop to his home. It's already getting dark. 

Haru's phone starts ringing in his pocket, making both of them jump. Makoto opens his mouth to say something when Haru sees Rin's face on the screen and simply hangs up, but he knows better and stays quiet. 

Finally they reach Makoto's apartment, and Haru mutters that he's taking a shower and disappears down the corridor before Makoto can say anything.

The water helps him clear his mind as he leans on the wall and sighs. He thinks about what Rin said, and closes his eyes because it's not fair; Rin may be his compass, but Makoto's is his anchor, the only thing that has stayed with him and gave him some sort of stability.  His parents left to Tokyo, Rin left to Australia, Nagisa left to another school. But Makoto was always there during all of that, with his sweet smiles and his concern and his strong heart. It reminds Haru of the sea on early August, kind of warm and calmed and peaceful. Rin isn't like that. He's a hurricane, always messing with the tides and turning Haru's world upside down, and now he's messing with his anchor and his center and his Makoto and that's probably what terrifies him most in the world.

“Haru?” Makoto calls him outside the door, “I'm coming in”

Haru doesn't have time to think anything else that the fact that he isn't wearing his swimsuit when Makoto steps in. The curtain is still shielding him, thought. 

“I'm not wearing my swimsuit” he mutters, and Makoto responds with an “ _oh_ ” a bit panicked and a bit amused.

There's a silence, and Haru wishes Makoto had a bathtub so he could submerge on the water and block everything outside.

“Did you and Rin had a fight?” Makoto finally talks, softly, obviously trying not to break any sensible spots.

Haru considers the question as he hears the drops hit the floor.

“You could say that” he finally answers hesitantly. 

“Is everything alright, thought?”

Haru suddenly wants to hug him, wants to break down and tug at Makoto's shirt and let him take everything away. “I need to change” he says instead, and Makoto sighs and then leaves, shutting the door, but Haru knows that he's leaning against the door outside, waiting.

He steps out of the shower and puts his clothes back on, thinking that no, everything isn't exactly alright. Makoto is the only person he's willing to talk to about his problems, but now he can't because his problem _is_ Makoto.

Okay, not Makoto, just his feelings for him, but it's almost the same thing.

He's done changing, but he doesn't come out, just stays sitting on the cold floor, looking at his hands and mentally cursing Rin. 

Tell Makoto about how he feels, as if it could be easy.

For some reason, he remembers Nagisa. He called a few days back, screaming loudly on the phone about how Rei-chan kissed him on the Iwatobi festival and how they were now together. Haru had impassibly told him he was glad, and Nagisa had laughed and kept going narrating how Momo-chan and Ai-chan and Gou-chan and a ton of new names were doing back there. He had almost broke down again between the funny stories, but he simply said he missed them both and Haru had been glad because he didn't know how to deal with a crying Nagisa.

But that isn't exactly how he's remembering Nagisa, he's thinking way before that, last summer when they were still third years and Nagisa ran away from home. He remembers Rei asking him angrily why wouldn't he say why, if it was because he didn't trust them enough.

Haru suddenly feels guilty. He never talks to Makoto about his feelings, and he hasn't done it now when it's most important. 

Makoto knocks the door, and when Haru doesn't protest he steps in.

“Haru” he whispers, obviously worried. Makoto kneels in front of him, and before he can say anything Haru can't resist the urge anymore and throws himself at his arms. “ _Haru!_ ” he repeats, this time surprised, but his tone still tender.

Haru sniffs and tugs at Makoto's shirt, sighing at the warm and cozy smell. Makoto responds by wrapping his arms around him and caressing his hair gently.

“Makoto” Haru says. He isn't sure how he's going to say it, but he knows he has to, so when Makoto hums to indicate he's listening, Haru just blurts out the first thing he can think of. “Can I kiss you?”

Makoto's whole body stiffens, and Haru almost regrets saying anything, but then Makoto breaths out a “yeah” and Haru's lips connect with Makoto's.

It's a simple brush, like when you're standing close to the ocean and the tides go through your feet and you feel the sand being sucked up into the water and you feel as if it is pulling you close.

Haru starts to separate, but Makoto's arm suddenly holds his waist and his hand cups Haru's chin and he's being kissed again. This time is different, like finally reaching the end of a race in a tournament, when you get your head out and you gasp for air and look at the screen and you're in first place.

Haru melts into the kiss, and at some point they need to fall apart to breathe, which is absurd because Makoto's kiss felt like breathing.

“Makoto” Haru speaks. It isn't enough, he wants Makoto to know how he feels, he wants to tell him that he's his anchor and his ocean and his center and his warm coffee on a rainy morning and his favorite shirt and his train home. But Haru isn't good with feelings, and he can't place a name on this thing on his chest. “How do you feel about me?”

Okay, maybe making Makoto solving his problem it's a little cruel. Or maybe it isn't, because he can feel the smile on his voice when he answers. “Well, that's easy. You're my favorite person in the world, and I love you, and I always want to be with you, and you make me feel like I'm home whenever I'm with you”

Something inside Haru explodes, and he lets out a shaky breath as he tugs into Makoto's shirt tighter. “Okay” he manages, his voice muffled on Makoto's chest, “I feel that way too”

Makoto holds him closer, and he's sort of laughing and sort of sighing on his hair when he says “thank god” and kisses his forehead. 

Haru thinks that maybe he doesn't need Rin as his compass and Makoto as his anchor, maybe this moment is just enough.


End file.
